No Cap

Posted by Emily on September 23, 2009

I guess it’s been a long time since I updated this. 18 ½ weeks; not much to report really. I still feel sick everyday like last noted. It keeps the wave pattern. I get hungry super fast, but I don’t eat a ton at a time. I’m still carrying on with the nausea, heartburn, headaches, back pain, fatigue, weird/painful ligament stretching, acne, splotchy face, vivid dreams, so forth, and etc. Basically, I’m still pregnant.

Shortly after the last post I started feeling baby move. First it was like having someone use a water color brush on my insides and that slowly evolved into the light poking that I feel now. I have only managed to get David to feel it once. No worries, plenty of abuse from the inside is on its way, so he knows that his chance is inevitable. Though it did provide me with some discreet amusement while stuck in a very long meeting today.

I think the most interesting thing was a conversation that David and I were having yesterday about how long we may or may not stay in this house. Instead of speaking in terms of years we talked in terms of babies. I can’t remember what I said, but I didn’t think I was asking him how many babies we’d have, and he was response was, “Honestly, I have no cap on how many children we have.” I think 15 is too many for me, there, I said it! OK, seriously though, why are we happy to have a whole brood? We’ve talked about it before, though there’s always been a number attached to it in the past, about why we would like several children.

I’ll admit that the first reason, in the past, for me was that I enjoyed growing up in a big family. LOVED it. These people are my best friends to this day. It is no obligation for me to go over and be with them. It’s a happy, open, loving atmosphere, and they are stinkin funny to boot.

I wanted to give my own children that happy environment where it’s easy to see that love is the great multiplier. It does not divide or take away from anyone else’s love. It is simply a true principle that the more people you have to love the more joy you have, even though the world would teach you otherwise! Think of how loving God our Father is.

I want them to have the strong support system that a family provides, and this is another one where the more the merrier.

I could go on all day (learning to share, take responsibility, get along, etc), but what does that have to do with a cap on how many? Well, other than those and many other things that we have talked about, we have also spent time talking about the trust that the Lord puts in parents to raise His children. I think of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” that has this small sentence that’s so full of meaning; “Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” We are taking on the spirit children of the Lord. Since these individuals already exist, they are going to be born somewhere, to someone, and while we hardily acknowledge our shortcomings, we feel like we can give the Lord’s children a decent life. Send them to us, we will love them, feed them, teach them the gospel, and willingly give them all that we have to offer. We will not consider that great gift an unwanted burden. And that is the heart of us being able to say, “Lord, if thou art willing, send us several of thy beloved children.”